Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it doesn't. But it's becoming a dream. I've slipped back into my old life, college life, and it's a backwards slide. I was afraid of losing what I'd gained in the city and I have. I know myself too well. I'm complacent and lazy and it's easy, it's so easy, to stay in my house with my friends and eat good food and watch good television and study for classes and forget the world.
Geneseo doesn't have much on offer, not like London did. And so I've become who I was again and London's dreamy and incorporeal in my mind.
Sometimes I miss it so bad. Sometimes I'm too busy being with Danes or Roomie to miss it. Sometimes I'm too caught up in my own dreamworld, in another London in another future in another version of me, to remember what it was really like.
I don't want it to fade into dream, the edges of the memory ripped and stained from trying too hard to keep it. But it already has and, while I don't want to miss out on what's here, I don't want to lose it.
