I've been listening to too much Blues

Today was good. Mostly.

I got up on time, had breakfast (peanut butter toast! Reminds me of home.) and tea and got out of the house by 10.30. I got to Kingston by 11 and wandered around Kingston for three hours. I found the Library, the Museum, a bunch of good shops and restaurants and had a walk on the River Thames. I was...so at peace. It was so lovely. Just me and the city and finding my way around and it was a nice day on the banks of the Thames. I couldn't help the disbelieving giggles that found their way out of my throat because I'm sitting on the banks of the Thames, a twenty minute ride from Central London. It's a dream come true, truly.

C. says I should pop in on my own. I wanted to go on Monday, but apparently it's going to snow. Maybe Tuesday, then. Bri said she'd go with me, but I kind of want to go on my own because what I found out tonight, after I went out with Bri and another girl was that I feel the sadness most keenly when I'm with other people.

My grandfather died earlier today. He suffered from Alzheimer's, had done for years and years, and it's a blessing, really. It wasn't right, how he was surviving. I say surviving, because it wasn't living, and surviving only barely. But I got an email from my dad while I was uploading photos and a Skype call from my mom while I was getting ready to go out. And I was talking to Danes at the same time and I actually felt good about my life, how I was finally going out on a Friday night in the city I just spent the day learning.

But now that I'm back, it hurts. I like Bri and her friend, but--I wish it was Danes and Katie and Kristina and Jules and my parents so I could hug my daddy.

I'll get lonely by the end, but I think I'm best on my own. That way I don't wish the people I'm with (nice people that I really like) are someone else.

Here are my pictures from the day. I have, in fact, found the red phonebox sculpture Ian was talking about, but they're not uploaded yet. I will do, but I've got my mandatory study abroad kids trip to Windsor Castle tomorrow.